Brutally Honest #46 “The One Where Luke Quits Smoking”

So yeah, I quit smoking 6 days ago.

When people talk about how hard it is to quit smoking, they talk in terms of the nicotine withdrawl symptoms. I’ve read a lot this week about those symptoms and I’ve experienced quit a few of them firsthand. They suck, they truly do, but there’s something that makes quitting even harder. For me, the hardest thing about quitting is the change to my identity.

We humans are very protective of ourselves. Our sense of identity, of who we are, helps us feel safe and secure in the world. When a big change occurs, it can destroy our sense of self. This makes us feel very insecure and unsure. We often cling to things that aren’t good for us (like smoking and bad relationships) because we don’t want to change. Cigarettes are a part of my identity, so quitting messes with my self-definition. That is scary to me.

In spite of my fears, I’ve come to believe in personal transformation. I think people ought to evolve and grow and become who they were meant to be. The problem is that transformation is always uncomfortable and frightening. I like to avoid things that make me feel scared or weird, so I often miss my chance to change. That’s not acceptable to me anymore. I can’t be one of those people that just gets in a rut and stays there for life. I feel like I’ve spent enough of my life that way already.

So I’m here in the in-between place. I don’t know who I am anymore, but I’m not as scared as I used to be. I’m in the process of becoming someone new again, and that’s reason for excitement.

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    photo of  Luke Leverett
    New Braunfels, Texas Phone: 830-708-5883